Adulting for dummies: a birthday blog

Hello, dear readers!

It’s been a while since I last blogged (properly??!). 2020 has been a difficult year to survive, not just for me, but most probably for everyone across the globe. Honestly, I felt so uninspired. I felt like I’ve become a prisoner of my own mind where anxiety and depression served as my shackles. I felt so drained, I felt so lost, I felt so down to the point that I even considered taking this blog down. However… I realized that I needed an outlet, so I guess I’m keeping thefrustratedmangaka for a while.

Since 2020 has been a year of reflection (brought about by the loooong quarantine in the Philippines), I decided to dedicate this post for some of the life lessons I learned during the three decades of my life.

The good

1. Seasonal friends. As mentioned by Alex Gonzaga in one of her vlogs, you are not maturing/growing if you are not losing friends. There are some friends that are meant to stay for only a certain point, a “season”, of your life.

2. Respecting the elders. They have experienced far more than you do. As they say, “papunta ka pa lang, pabalik na ako.” And believe me, they are saying that not to boast. Rather, they are only trying to protect you. They know better because they have been there.

3. Invest on experience; travel while you can. Discover new places, explore new culture, taste new food, make new friends, etc. Traveling allows you to discover new things about yourself. Unlike material things, precious memories can never be taken away from you.

4. Never underestimate the power of your thoughts as it can either make or break a person. That’s how powerful the human mind is.

5. Cherish the moments with your loved ones. Don’t forget that as you grow older, your family members grow older too.

6. Gratitude.

7. Life with Jesus. “Not that it promises a life without problems, but it does ensure a life able to deal with anything, because it takes full advantage of God’s presence and promises.” (commentary on Joshua 1.6-9) –BLB”. To be honest, my life story isn’t really as colorful as it seems. Pwedeng pang-telesrye (minus yung love story syempre). I can say that it is my faith (and God’s grace of course) that is keeping me alive today.

8. Don’t expect people to have the same values and beliefs as you.

9. NEVER measure the level of respect you’re going to give to other people based on their social class, their job, their ethnicity, their religion, etc. Everyone deserves respect.

10. Don’t dwell in the past. “Memory often romanticizes the past. Yet, this is often confused with a simple longing for our youth — when things seemed much more simple, our responsibilities were fewer, and everything was newer. God’s best for us is always ahead, never behind us. (Numbers 11.9) – BLB.

11. Live in the present. You miss a lot of things that actually matter if you let your time pass by reminiscing the bittersweet past and worrying about the uncertain future.

12. Stop worrying about the future. How will you enjoy the blessings that you have now if you keep worrying about a future na hindi pa nangyayari? It’s good to prepare for the future but it’s not healthy to let fear and anxiety consume you and steal your precious time.

13. Be mindful of the words you say. I’m not sure if someone told me this or if I’ve seen this on a kdrama: (non-verbatim) the words spoken can easily be forgotten, but how those words made you feel will stay in your heart for a long time.

14. The importance of savings. Always, ALWAYS, save a portion of your salary because life sometimes has overwhelming ways to surprise us and you’ll never know when you will need it. If you have the means, better to invest as well. They say money can’t buy you happiness but ghorl, you need money to pay your bills and to “secure” your future. Hindi mo pwedeng i-asa na lang lahat sa parents mo. Ktnxbye.

The bad…

15. Ang taong malawak ang pang-unawa ang laging agrabyado (sorry di ko na itra-translate at baka maubos ang english ko pag translate nito hahahha).Intindihin mo na lang, mas malawak naman ang pang unawa mo blahblahblah. Mas nakakaintindi ka naman.” When people find you mature enough to understand certain situations, they just expect you to accept everything that is happening, tolerate unpleasant behavior even if it’s wrong just because that’s the way it is. Like seriously? You’re not even going to correct that? Intindihin na lang? Ay kenat.

via giphy.com

16. Being a strong independent woman. I learned this the hard way. To be honest, I was a bit pampered growing up. But things happen, you lose people along the way; and suddenly I just found myself alone with no one else to rely on. I realized that at the end of the day, it’s just going to be me. As I mentioned earlier, people come and go, so you always have to be prepared mentally and emotionally. You can’t be dependent on other people. I’m not saying that it’s bad to rely on other people or to ask for help. What I’m trying to say is avoid being overly dependent. Learn to stand with your own feet because the people around you will never be there forever.

via giphy.com

17. In relation to #16, when you’re the strong one, it is easy for people to disregard you and take you for granted. People sometimes neglect your feelings knowing that you can easily “forget” things and just move on. They don’t mind if they hurt you. They don’t care much about you because they know that you’ll be fine no matter what. Sad nu?

18. This may be contrary but at the same time complementary to points #16-17. “We are most dangerous when we think we are “winning” battles with our own self-reliance. (Joshua 7.12-13)” –BLB. So, isn’t it much better to put your trust and rely on that Someone who is guaranteed to never bring you down right? Someone who is faithful to His promises diba?

19. You will never be everyone’s cup of tea and you don’t have to prove yourself to anybody.

20. No matter how much you give, it will never be enough.

via tumblr (films in motion)

The work in progress…

21. Be confident. Self-doubt hinders you from success.

22. The importance of social media detox. In this age where almost everything is shared on social media, it is very easy to compare lives. It is very easy to doubt yourself, your achievements, how your life is going, etc. It’s very easy to be insecure. This is hard to admit but there are times when social media “forces” you to live an aesthetically curated and staged life. So when you feel like this sometimes, disconnect.

23. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t rush things. Trust God’s timing, but at the same time do your part din syempre. Honestly at this age, I felt like I haven’t really achieved anything. There are times when I feel like I’m wasting my youth. Quarter-life crisis beshhh. So in relation to point#22, don’t let society put pressure on you. Never let society dictate you the standards/measures of success.

24. Learn to say no. I feel really happy and fulfilled whenever I’m able to help someone. But there are moments when my plate is already full and I find it hard to say “no” to new requests for help just because I don’t want to disappoint anyone. Ends up, I’m the only one stressed tapos happy-happy, hayahay, lang sila. Ankyut. Sometimes you have to firmly say no especially if it will make those people more responsible with their actions.

via giphy.com

25. Handle pressure better. Become an olive that is pressed but not crushed. I don’t know what happened, but previously I used to handle stress better than this haha. As I grow older, I feel like there’s more to come (adulting package lol) and I have to be prepared.

26. Bloom where you are sown. As cliché as it may sound, God puts us at certain circumstances to transform us and instill lessons in us, in order for us to grow. Trust the process.

“The waiting for God is often the most difficult part for us, but days of waiting are always days of preparation in God’s work. There is no wasted time with God.”

Blue Letter Bible

27. Stay away from toxic people. Some people perceive me as that jolly, unbothered, unproblematic person. Someone even described me as that ray of sunlight on a cloudy day. Maybe that’s why most of the time, people come to me to share their problems or even ask me for advice. I feel honored that people see me that way, but sometimes there’s a tendency that I absorb all the negativities, all the stress from these people. Then in the end, I’m the one who’s stressed. I’m the one who’s affected. It’s okay to be that ray of sunlight sometimes, but don’t forget to maintain your inner peace and stay away from toxic people when it becomes a bit too much.

28. Recognize, embrace, and work on your weaknesses so that other people can’t use them against you.

29. Health is wealth (hello Tini, cliche queen lol). During my previous years, I used to be so careless when it comes to my health and it is also the least of my priorities. However, 2020 was an eye-opener for me. While our family members didn’t really acquire covid, there were other medical concerns that we faced. It made me realize that if I’m going to be an old strong independent woman (HAHAHHAHAHA), I might as well prioritize my health now!!!

30. There’s a lesson in every situation. 

So there. Apologies if most of these points are soooo negative. Since I’ve poured my heart out on this post, I decided to leave everything here and finally look forward to a more physically, mentally, emotionally-healthy 2021. I’ll try my best to go back to that cheerful and bubbly (but more cautious) Tini. CHEERS!!!

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